Attachment theory, coined by John Bowlby, explores the emotional bonds between a mother and infant, identifying attachment styles like secure, anxious-ambivalent, avoidant, and disorganized. These styles, developed in childhood, influence how individuals approach romantic relationships later in life.
Cheating’s impact on committed partners mirrors early attachment styles. Victims experience emotional pain akin to attachment injuries seen in infants separated from their mothers. These injuries involve traumatic experiences violating one’s trust in others. Post-cheating, affected partners often exhibit behaviours resembling a disorganized attachment style, with emotional, psychological, and cognitive dys-regulation. This includes decreased self-esteem, lack of trust, and fear of abandonment in future relationships. The lasting impact hampers openness to future romance, leaving scars from betrayal by a once-secure partner.
Reactions to cheating vary, influenced by perspectives and interpretations. Educating couples, especially those with insecure attachment, about healing after cheating can benefit long-term commitment. Relationship satisfaction also shapes responses. Less satisfied partners may see cheating as a greater threat, possibly leading to breakup, while others may choose forgiveness. Understanding adult attachment and responses to cheating sheds light on navigating traumatic experiences in romantic relationships.
Reference:
Rokach A, Chan SH. Love and Infidelity: Causes and Consequences. Int J Environ Res Public Health. 2023 Feb 22;20(5):3904. doi: 10.3390/ijerph20053904. PMID: 36900915; PMCID: PMC10002055.