I meet a lot of men who want an affair because they are bored with their life, and especially their marriage. They want some excitement and some passion, they want the thrill of ‘first experiences’ again, and to feel like the man they once were.
Now, I believe, like many, that when you get married, and especially if it is a monogamous arrangement, you give up all these exciting things for stability, security, loyalty and commitment. It’s your lot in life if you decide to get married. You can’t have it all, right? But, as it turns out, the ‘deal’ of marriage seems to crush a man over time. You could say this happens because of immaturity and selfishness and ‘badness’, but really, it’s one of the most normal things I find about men – they just want to, need to, escape their mundane life and marriage.
This feeling in men is so mainstream – it’s not just ‘a thing’, but the norm that we are choosing to ignore. If this feeling and need among men is so common, perhaps (as a society) we need to endeavour to understand it rather than just lazily vilify it. Perhaps if we learn about it, acknowledge it, and god forbid, even understand it – work out a way to accept it as part of a man’s life experience – we will have a new, healthier, blueprint for modern relationships.
I do think men have a better acceptance of a marriage being boring, and dead of romance and connection. (I know so many who just live with it.) However, I find women seem to give a blind eye to it, thinking that it’s just life and deep down – somewhere – they still feel desire and connection with their husband, if it weren’t for all the stressors of ‘life’ getting in the way, of course. But, the stressors of life, the disconnect and lack of desire, actually becomes their new relationship norm – a marriage identity. The husband sees this; the wife doesn’t; and so he thinks it is just easier to change things for himself on his own rather than trying to convince a blinded wife to change with him. (Of course, this happens the other way too.)
And then… that’s where I come in. A lot of bored husbands seek me out because I seem like a very exciting opportunity. The problem is, I am. I’m very kinky, I am very experienced sexually, and I am accustomed to having affairs, so I don’t create the drama and complications most new Mistresses do. Unfortunately, most husbands in boring marriages are… boring. I often write on my profiles that I am not looking to be the entertainment for anyone, that I expect someone to be just as exciting for me as I am for them (and that means outside the bedroom as well as inside it). A lot of men have been with the same woman for 20 years, and that has made them sexually dull and inexperienced. Most often the wife has stopped having sex with them ten years ago so they are also out of practice. Often they have the enthusiasm, but their skills and technique are lacking, and their creativity sucks because they have usually been conditioned by their wife to only doing a few things.
Relationship-wise, a lot of husbands are quite forceful when laying down their affair rules. They are obviously scared a Mistress will fall in love with them and then cause headaches. It is true that a lot of inexperienced Mistresses are either escaping their own marriages and set on finding another husband, but that’s because they aren’t the ‘Perfect Mistress’. So, the man laying the rules down in such a way makes me know how boring and inexperienced he will be in an affair. (Fear is boring and makes people be very limiting.) The men who have a few affairs under their belt are, of course, more relaxed… but then there is the problem of them not knowing how to deal with a Dominant Woman…
