I don’t really have an age preference when dating; I don’t want to limit my options. (Though, I never go under twenty-one as a rule.) However, even though I have a surplus of younger men wanting to date me, I lean towards them as they don’t seem to be as needy as older men. That’s right, I find older men to be quite needy and demanding. Not sexually, but they always want to get stuck into relationships straight away, even proposing them before we meet.
Younger men are more career focused. Usually they haven’t made it yet, so they aren’t considering settling down any time soon. Sure, some want to have girlfriends, or friends with benefits, but they don’t want a serious relationship. Most of the time it is because a young man feels he needs to have everything right in his life, including career and finances, so he can be ready and free to commit to a long-term relationship. But, it is also known that young men know they can’t get the type of ‘high value’ women they would want to marry being a junior worker with the pay grade to match. They believe that when they are in the middle of their career, they will have access to ‘higher value’ women. So, they want to wait, and have fun and gain experience in the meantime.
So, where do I fit into all this…?
I am mostly considered a temporary thing to young men, which is perfectly fine for me. I love just having fun. I really don’t want a serious relationship with a man thirty years my younger. (However, I have gotten into a few short and fast love affairs with some of them.) As a young soul, my perfect age demographic for a relationship is fifteen years my younger. We just have the same energy and enthusiasm about life. We can have silly fun but also deep conversations. And, these men aren’t yet stuck in a lifestyle pattern that they will take to their graves. It means they are more flexible in building a life together. Men my age and older just don’t seem to offer me the day-to-day life I would desire with a partner.
But also, the men who are older than 40 have a very different idea on dating. Rather than just having fun, getting to know and explore other people, they seem to be set on finding a life partner in you straight away. Usually, (and I want to say mostly), when I meet an older man on a first date, he declares what he wants in a relationship, and how he wants to live. He also states that he wants me to love him, he promises to love me like no other woman, and we can spend the rest of our lives together just focused on each other. I often feel like the cat in Pepe le Pew trying to get away, because no joke, their physical hold onto my arms and their hand-cups to my face to give me little kisses on my lips seem needy, and suffocate me. I feel like I’m with my grandpa by the way they interact with women. And some actually drop all the life commitment stuff on me even before we meet (which makes me decline a meeting). For a girl like me, older men’s dating antics are the quickest way to get me to run.
So, the men forty and older seem to have this immediate coupling agenda. They seem to want to get into that comfortable married state from the get go before even truly knowing each other. No dining and dating and romancing; the old married couple is their goal. This, of course, is mostly from the men I meet who have already been married before, but I have had some eternal bachelors that have wanted to wife me up from the first meet. You may think it must be the culture of the people where I live, but I’m an international. I have experienced this older men dating phenomena in London, Oslo and Madrid.
