I find a lot of men are curious about me and want to ‘try’, but just for a few experiences. They generally don’t see having a Dominant Woman as a long-term thing (and their ego certainly wouldn’t be able to handle it), which makes them perfect for me.
It means I get a continual influx of offers and so I can be very selective. I don’t feel the need to invest in short-term lovers because I know they will only be short-term lovers. They are a dime a dozen. Ironically, it makes me more picky, objectively picky, that is. Body shape. Charisma. Social status. But with looks, I have more eclectic tastes. According to my gay best friend, I am more attracted to the ‘ugly men’. But really, I’m a sucker for the good boy with dark features, innocent look and puppy-dog eyes.
I admit, I do capitalise on the fact that I’m on the bucket list of most men, especially in their twenties. As a fit and ageless 50 year-old woman, I could pass as 35… and I always get compliments on how ‘stunning’ I look for my age. In some ways, I do get offended by men who say that, but more so by their surprise. It is as if they expect women at 50 to be unfit and unappealing. Still, I use their opinion of me to my advantage, making the most of the supply.
Most men like the idea of me, but I know they don’t have what it takes to fully appreciate a Dominant Woman in her prime. There always seems to come a time when they want to be my Dominant for once. I know it is a manly thing to want to feel in control over someone they cherish, that the person they cherish allows them to take control – it’s a compliment, and something they crave: the desire to be trusted, to be leaned upon and needed – but this is something that is usually beyond my capacity to give. And even though we always start out with everything on the table, our roles set, our trajectory clear, if we go on for too long there comes a time, especially if he gets too close, when he wants to be my Dominant. This is why short-term lovers are my preference: long enough to devour them but short enough to escape the calories.
Of course, I have as many short-term lovers as I want. They come and go when I please. And, sometimes I have to kick them out because they think they can stay. It’s rare for me to want to keep one, but I can never say never. There have been a lot of young men that I could have fallen in love with, but for some reason or another – usually because starting something will only be more hassle than it’s worth – I let them go, I slip away and I disappear. Sometimes after a few months, six months or a year, they find me again. It is only a brief reconnection before I find the right time to escape again. Seriously, there are only so many men I can keep in my life at any given time so I need to be strict with my diet of fresh greens.
We don’t get to choose who we fall in love with, but we do get to choose to pursue or not.
From time-to-time; their is one I don’t want to let go of. Such pains me. I know too well the challenges of having a large age gap and being at different stages in life, but at heart, I am a romantic. I believe that love crosses boundaries, defies social constructs and transcends human logic. Even still, if this happens I most likely will do nothing. I will let the opportunity slip away, and sometimes I will help it be forgotten by my slowness, inactivity and the inevitability of time.
And then every once in a while, there is one I can’t let go of. He won’t let me, and neither will my heart. It is agonising. Such changes me. I suddenly feel my path is diverted, that I’ve found a hidden grove where the sun shines through the trees and onto my face. I know I can’t stay long; I don’t want to leave but I must; if I don’t, I will forget where I want to go. I have been here before, but to let go of myself for love, to change where I’m going, is not something I am willing to do anymore.
I like who I am. I have designed myself, and worked for it. I don’t want all my planning and efforts to be abandoned because of a love that cannot accommodate my passion to be the Dominant Woman I am. Short-term lovers suit me just fine. They enable me to keep myself on track and they feed my desires as a Dominant Woman. Long-term lovers don’t. As said, the longer the term, the more a man desires my submission.
However, there are always the anomalies…
It takes a smart man to understand what a Dominant Woman truly is and what kind of relationship she really offers. I have met and kept a few of these men in my time. They adore me for being me and do not dare to put their own desires on me. They give me the space to naturally choose them, when I want them and how I want them. I know they want more, and sometimes I do too, but I like who we already are together, long-term, egos intact. If there is ever a man who doesn’t need to claim what he wants, but allows her to be free, he is a man who can keep a Dominant Woman.
