Men have affairs for many reasons – opportunity, loneliness, sexlessness, for example – but like everything, some of their reasons are good and some reasons are bad. You want to make sure that as a Mistress you engage with someone who is having an affair for the ‘right’ reasons.
I have met some men who want to have an affair for revenge. This revenge is not to get back at a cheating partner (their partner may have never cheated) but to compensate for the life they feel they have lost. I find that a certain group of men have a certain amount of contempt for their wife for one reason or another, but it is usually because he can’t be the man he wants to be around her. He has to hide who he is because he either started out like this in his marriage and now can’t change otherwise it will cause a crisis or because it is just less painful and less stressful to keep things as they are (and how his wife wants it). Thus, I meet a certain amount of men who want an affair to give a big finger to their partner for the life and person they have lost.
This is not a man I would have an affair with.
I have met some men who want to have an affair for validation. A lot of men want to know that they have ‘still got it’. Being able to still be attractive to a woman, to woo them and then make them fall in love, is a thrill that a lot of men, especially around their mid-life crisis, have. It is usually because their wife doesn’t see them as the vibrant and strong man they once were when they were dating. And often it is because men are now in a sexless marriage and feel emasculated by it. So, having an affair, or serial affairs, they somehow feel validated as being viable, attractive and “important” men again. Thus, I meet a certain amount of men who want an affair to bolster their self esteem, using their Mistress to stroke their ego.
This is not a man I would have an affair with.
I have met many men who want to have an affair because they don’t want to pay for sex. A lot of men seeking affairs purely want to use a woman as a sexual object. They will jump through all her hoops and play the game of luring and wooing, but they have no intention of a fully rounded experiencing. Their goal is to fuck for self gratification and to leave as quickly as possible to return to their life. Rather than escaping their life, like a lot of men seeking affairs want, these men love their life but just want more sex on the side (as usually they are just not getting enough from their partner). Thus, I meet a lot of men who are greedy, selfish, and disrespectful, and who see woman as an object to service their needs.
This is not a man I would have an affair with.
