I do have a strong perspective of Femdom because I have lived, witnessed and felt it for a very long time. And, I am trying to get Femdom back on track.
What I am essentially doing first is unpicking Femdom from sex. Why is this important? It means taking Femdom out of the hands of men, so women can hold its meaning and identity. If a woman wants her Femdom to be all about sex, that’s Her prerogative. But men should not dictate anymore what Femdom is.
Men have assigned all these tropes to Femdom for their own sexual gratification.
For example, sissification, strappon, and humiliation (spitting, face slapping, pissing). Let me ask you this: Does Maledom have such tropes? Do submissive women expect their Dominant men to follow a prescribed script for Domination and for scenes?
Now can you understand how much male desire has Femdom by the throat?
If you in anyway expect a process for a trope—eg. sissification: what and how needs to be done to do sissification successfully—then you are dictating your male-centric expectations onto Femdom. Thus, you are treating Femdom as living porn to service your desires.
My goal is not to point fingers or demonise the porn industry – it has its purposes – but I want to demonstrate what is happening, and why Lifestyle Femdom is resisting.
Femdoms are smart creatures. We don’t just know, we feel what is going on. And it is getting so complicated to resist male-centric tropes while living our own Femdom. The male hold on the image and identity of Femdom can be so subtle that it is difficult to explain because often a spectrum of perspective is needed to do so. And most Domina do not want to invest that time in correcting a sub who is just a teabag (dipping in and out of the scene whenever they need to scratch an itch). But we will invest in those who want to transition from the male-centric perspective, to truly submit to Femdom.
But, if you are truly a seeker of Femdom, drop your male-centric gaze – because believe me, it is learned – and start self-learning Femdom to get yourself up to a stage of Femdom notice.