Learning to Recognise What We’ve Always Felt
When we talk about Female Power, most people assume we mean dominance. Control. Force. But for those of us drawn to Femdom — either as Dominant women or those who respond to them — Power means something more nuanced. It isn’t just a tool. It’s a sexual orientation. And in my essay on Femdomsexuality, the focus turns to understanding that orientation: how it’s spoken, how it’s felt, and how many of us spend years misreading it before we even know what it is.
Power, in the Femdomsexual sense (a sexual orientation toward Female-based power), is not about Her aggression or assertion. It’s about Her presence, coherence, and psychological resonance. Power, when embodied by a woman, becomes more than an act — it becomes a discipline, a way of life, a way of being. Something others – usually submissives – feel and move in response to, even before anything explicit is said or done. That female Power might manifest in how She holds silence. In how She allows or withholds attention. In how She creates rules, not for the sake of control, but because the structure gives shape to Her energy and desires.
Those Attracted to Female Power
So often, people oriented toward Femdomsexuality feel a lifelong pull toward women who command space and life differently, not just those with confidence, but with an emotional power. It’s not about appearance. It’s not about dominance in the loud or performative sense. It’s the kind of power that is quiet, watchful, exacting… and utterly undeniable.
Sometimes people who find themselves magnetised by female power often struggle to express it, to understand it. They know how it feels — the urge to serve, or to soften, or to surrender — but they don’t always know how to explain it, let alone name it. “I’m attracted to female power and dominance,” can be difficult to say. The mainstream makes this either sound too weak, too pornographic, or too cliché. So, they don’t talk about it. Or, they act it out in fragmented ways with the women in their lives, never quite understanding the thread that ties it all together.
But what they are is Femdomsexual – sexually oriented towards Dominant women.
The surprising fact is, you don’t have to be submissive to be attracted to female power and dominance. A lot of people who identify as submissive are, yes, of course, but there are a lot of other people who are not submissive, and who find female power and dominance so attractive, it’s undeniable. They, too, are oriented towards Dominant women. They, too, are Femdomsexual.
This is why the language of Femdom matters — not the jargon or the acronyms that describe actions and activities, but the internal vocabulary that allows us to recognise ourselves and each other. When we understand that dominance and submission are not costumes we wear, but inner truths we translate, it becomes possible to live with more clarity, understanding, and acceptance. When we notice we’re being pulled toward a power-based attraction, we can finally understand ourselves.
So, I invite you to start listening more closely to how female power speaks to you — in your fantasies, yes, but also in your relationships, your habits, your life, and your longings. Once you start noticing how this feeling, how this orientation shows up, you will understand yourself and be able to create a life centred around the things that matter to you.