When people first step into the world of Female Domination, most will begin with what I call Relative Femdom. It is the most common entry point because it feels similar to vanilla egalitarian structures: negotiated, collaborative, and shaped around both partnersâ preferences. Think of it as the âtraining wheelsâ of Domination.
What Is Relative Femdom?
Relative Femdom is a dynamic built on compromise and co-authorship. The submissive brings his desires, preferences, and fantasies to the table, and the Domina decides what She is willing to include. Together, they shape a container that satisfies both sides. It might mean She agrees to try pegging because he enjoys it, or he agrees to massage Her feet because She enjoys that. Both contribute to the structure. Both get something. But, both don’t get everything, and both serve the other.
Relative Femdom is called ârelativeâ because it is not fixedâit depends on circumstances, negotiation, and the balance of wants in the moment. The Domina leads, but Her leadership is shaped by what the submissive offers or requests.
Why It Works for Beginners
This structure is useful for people just beginning because it feels safe and clear. It allows both sides to experiment without too much pressure. Beginners can negotiate limits, explore specific kinks, and find common ground without the fear of overstepping. Relative Femdom is flexible and accessible, which is why it is promoted in many introductory books and workshops on BDSM.
For a new submissive, it feels reassuring. They can name what I want, and the Domina can decide if it fits into Her Femdom or not. For a new Domina, it can be a gentle way to practice authority without feeling that She must invent the entire structure Herself.
Its Character and Limits
Relative Femdom is great for play in the bedroom, occasional rituals, or negotiated sessions. It is deeply valid as a form of connection, but it has a particular character. Because it depends on negotiation, it can sometimes drift into roleplay. The Domina appears to lead, but the scene has already been scripted in advance by the submissiveâs requests.
This does not make it wrong. It simply means that Relative Femdom is a structure shaped by both partners rather than one that flows purely from the Dominaâs desire. For many couples, that balance is exactly what they want. For beginners, it provides stability and direction without demanding too much knowledge or readiness.
Why Training for Domination is Essential
Think of Relative Femdom as a stepping stone. Just as training wheels help a a person find balance before they can freely ride a bike, Relative Femdom helps new participants experience the rhythms of D/s without falling into chaos. It teaches the fundamentals: consent, negotiation, limits, and trust. And, like training wheels, it is not meant to be skipped. In fact, Relative Femdom is essential for every person’s journey into Dynamics. Many people may stay happily in this structure for years. Others may eventually seek a deeper or different Dynamic. The point is not to force one model over another, but to understand where you are and why.
Relative Femdom is the beginning of the path for most people. It introduces the language of submission and dominance in a way that feels safe, accessible, and real. And like any beginning, its value is not in being perfectâit is in getting you started.