When men begin exploring Femdom, one of the first questions they often ask themselves is: Am I really submissive, or am I just choosing this? The answer is not as simple as many think. Submission can be felt as an innate trait or as an awakened choice. Both are real. Both are valid. But their orientations come from different places.
Born Submissives
Some men describe submission as who they are. They have felt submissive impulses since youth. They are drawn to authority, hierarchy, and the idea of surrender feels natural to them. For these men, submission is not a role they step into; it is a personality trait. They are submissive across contexts, and often describe themselves as “born this way.”
Born submissives can be deeply loyal and dependable. But from the perspective of many Dominas, they can also too easy and be predictable. Because their submission does not need to be activated, they are often eager, compliant, and already oriented to serve. For some Dominas, this is comforting. For others, it can feel underwhelming. If a man is already willing to submit without resistance, the emotional charge of domination is often weaker.
Choice Submissives
Other men are not naturally submissive in their personality or daily life. They may be confident, even dominant, in their careers, friendships, or relationships. But in the presence of the right woman, something shifts. Her presence awakens in them a longing to surrender. Their submission is not innate, it is activated by Her authority, charisma, or erotic truth.
For Dominas, this type of submission can be intoxicating. To see a strong man bend only for Her carries an erotic charge that pre-submissive eagerness often lacks. Activated submission is less about personality and more about relation. The man is not “a submissive” to everyone—he is Her submissive.
Two Different Truths
Neither path is more authentic. Born submissives are sincere; their submission is steady, reliable, and often deeply integrated into their identity. Submissives who choose surrender are also sincere; their submission is situational, relational, and tied to the chemistry of desire.
The key is honesty. If you are a born submissive, know that your eagerness may need to be balanced with patience and depth; otherwise, you risk appearing generic or needy. If you are a submissive who chooses surrender, know that your Domina may want consistency from you, not just intensity when the mood strikes.
For Beginners
Ask yourself: Do I feel submissive as a constant truth about myself, or only when the right Woman is present? There is no wrong answer. Both paths lead into Femdom. What matters is not how you arrived at submission, but how you live it—with honesty, energy, and devotion.